Today is my last day at work and I am emotional. I didnt realize how much I liked this place but it's honestly been so good for me.
I took this job in this particular clinic after being in the contact center was getting to be a way too much. I felt trapped and unappreciated and burnt out. I was so angry and I was drinking every day and I was just stuck in this pattern of wake up, go to work, be at work, do more work, stress out when I left work, thinking about work constantly, go to sleep, wake up, go to work, etc. It wasnt healthy and I forgot to live my life. I lost weight because I wasnt eating or taking care of myself. I punched a hole in the wall!
I took this job after all of that and I had to relearn a lot of basic stuff. During my first week on the job, my supervisor told me to leave my desk and go to lunch, instead of encouraging me to stay and work while at lunch. She told me to clock in if she saw me working, even though it wasnt time to clock in yet. She told me that I was allowed breaks or allowed to walk around to blow off steam. After working in the call center for a year, I forgot that working off the clock was bad, working while I should be at lunch was not okay, and taking breaks to get a snack, go to the bathroom, get water or just walk around to relax was normal.
I forgot all about being a human when I was in the contact center. It was like I was transformed into a robot that only knew how to work. So it was an adjustment when my supervisor at my clinic job encourages that so that I didnt get burnt out, that I didnt blow up, that I didnt resent her or the team. And it worked. It gave me my life back. I stopped going into the weekend thinking about what I did wrong. I stopped looking at my emails to see if I received an email about all my mistakes, I stopped working overtime without being paid. I was able to relax and start new things or go out and try new things.
Without this job, I wouldn't be moving. Without this job, I wouldn't have this blog. Without this job, I wouldn't have found a new passion in my life. Without this job, I don't know where I would be but I know that I wouldn't be in a good place.
Sure, there were moments when I thought the nurses hated me. There were moments when I almost walked out and didnt come back. There were moments when I sat and cried in the bathroom. But I think bad days are a part of working. And I think some of that was being frustrated at holding on to unhealthy habits rather than growing out of them. And some days were just really awful.
I owe everything to this incredibly, ordinary, extraordinary job.
My coworkers threw me a goodbye party. That was super sweet. We had good food and talked and had a great time. I am truly going to miss a lot of these ladies. They will forever hold a special place in my heart.
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