I am the least confident person in this world. If I tell you my name and you question it, I will start to believe that is not my name. My confidence wavers day by day. I can see the lack of confidence daily through my outfits, attitude, eating styles, to my work style. The lack of confidence in me is crazy ridiculous. However, this is something that I have been working on for the longest time.
So you're probably asking yourself “how do I have such a lack of confidence in everyday life and such great confidence when i'm traveling?” I promise there is a secret to my madness.
First off, I think one of my problems in confidence is that I hate doing the exact same thing every day. So my confidence will start shaking when I'm burnt out of doing the same thing or when I feel a lack of creativity. But then I'll force myself into a project and restart my confidence again. Even though I did the same exact job for 2 years before taking a vacation, my confidence was stemming from the “burnout” box in my brain. So when I had the opportunity to disrupt the routine, I gladly accepted it and had a new found confidence with that.
Secondly, Confidence comes from how you feel. So if you want confidence when you're traveling, pack things you absolutely love. Pack things that you feel beautiful in, no matter what you are going to do. Do you love floor length dresses? Great, pack it. Go to dinner wearing it, run down a staircase or a hall of an abandoned castle. Take pictures in your hotel room. You feel like you don't look pretty enough, spend additional time on your makeup or hair. I bought a pair of fake eyelashes. I didn't see ANYONE in Europe wear them but I wore them when the majority of my day was spent traveling and I felt dirty and gross. I put them on to help me feel better and confident and pretty.
Third, I find places that I'm comfortable in. If I'm not completely comfortable sitting there by myself, then I probably should be there. I find places that have a really “chill” vibe. I don't want to sit in a restaurant that doesn't seem friendly or nice. I don't want to spend money in that place nor do I feel comfortable being there by myself. If I walk into a bar and they are playing some music that you can feel and silently bop too or if the bartender seems very nice, talkative and will help you through choosing a drink or meal, that's the place I want to be at. If you are going by yourself in a strange land and you already are anxious, I would say if you feel 90% comfortable or more, it's the place for you. (I say 90% instead of 100% because some of that comfort is you being scared to try new things or just the basics of not knowing where you are or speak the language that is being spoken too. If that stuff is getting in the way of you enjoying yourself, then just try it. If you are concerned for your safety, please run as far away as possible).
Last and finally, try to speak the language. If you are going to a country that doesn't speak your native language, try to learn a few words and phrases to help. Most people will appreciate you trying at least and will be more open to helping you or working with you. If you try to talk to them in their native language, they will see you as more than just a tourist and most likely will help you out a little more by getting around or finding the best places. I went to a German bar and introduced myself and ordered in german. The man was so nice and helped me get a COVID test, told me about the best beers around, gave me a discount on my drinks, and kept coming up to me during slow parts of the night just to make conversation.
Listen, traveling by yourself is hard. It takes a lot of courage and commitment. Part of you will be excited to continue exploring and doing what you've always wanted to do. Part of you will be sad that you are experiencing these things without someone at your side. There will be self growth you didn't expect. There will be tears and one too many drinks. There will be so much beauty. Please don't let the fact that you're alone take away from the things you are capable of doing, what you want, where to go, or the experiences you will have.
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