I am having a hard time. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. It seems wild that this morning, I was in such a good mood, ready to take on the day, but now I'm crying in my room wanting this day to be over. I thought I was doing so well, accumulating to the culture here, the time change, and being so far away from my family. But maybe I was just masking that lonely feeling with beer, walking around, and food. Maybe I was hiding my fear and insecurity with the excitement of the opportunity to travel and interesting Instagram posts.
This visa situation has been a nightmare. If I would have been told that my visa was going to start 30 days before classes, regardless of what date or time I arrived, I would have planned better. I came to the UK before my visa because I didn't have a place to stay since my lease was up. I came to Bradford before my classes started because I didn't want to stay in London for 2 weeks. I kept trying to find answers to my complex questions with a group of incompetent people (not my words. The words of the International Student Program President.)
I planned to go to Paris for 3 days. I was excited to go and see Paris as an adult and see the family and friends I haven't seen in quite some time. I was excited to go to bakeries and shop around and eat french food. I was excited to check something off my travel list this year. And it helped that going to Paris would also help me activate my visa. So it was a whole wonderful trip that got planned to check many things off my list so that once registration was open, I could immediately register for classes and know my schedule for the next 4 months.
But of course, my plans to Paris were canceled because the airline was the absolute worst. So I went home and planned another trip, just to Ireland. Because I wouldn't be able to do as many things in Paris as I wanted to during this particular period. So I planned a trip to Ireland and I was happy and excited to go to Ireland. I've always wanted to go. I almost moved to Ireland instead of England.
Now, while standing in line for an hour waiting to register for classes, I was told that I needed my visa activated first. I understood that part. But I was told that I wasn't able to go to Ireland to activate it. I don't understand why I can't go out of the UK, to Ireland, which isn't a part of the UK, to activate my visa. But apparently, I'm not able to do that. I just made a nonrefundable trip to Ireland. Which is great. I'm going to go and enjoy it. But I'm so confused why I am not able to get my passport activated while I’m there. Also, where am I supposed to go in the next 3 days without spending literally all the money that I have left?
The Paris trip was nonrefundable. The Ireland trip is nonrefundable. Why are these trips only offered as nonrefundable? This is obvious and burning a hole in my pocket. I need better answers. I need to know why my visa cannot be activated when I come back to the UK. I really don't get it. I'm just hoping and praying that something happens where I can convince them to stamp my visa and let me move in. I don't understand why this isn't black and white and how no one can help me.
I'm frustrated and sad that this has yet again been delayed. I just want to know what my class schedule is going to be. I just want to know what days ill be in classes and what time I have to wake up. I want to start my process of being mentally prepared. I want my stuff from America. I want things to stop being delayed or canceled. I feel like I'm still in a lull period. I've been in this period since early June. I'm ready to move forward, move on, and get on with my life.
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